LAURIE KILMARTIN | Comedian
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WASHINGTON WAY

  • Federal Way 
    Pool: Weyerhauser Aquatic Center 
    SGOL Link 
    Rating: A+ 
    The Good News: Fifty meters, indoors and it's empty. You'll always have your own lane. Gutters deeper than James Earl Jones' voice and synchronized pace clocks. 
    The Bad News: It's twelve hours from my house. 
    Details: Oh my God. This pool is beautiful. This is the John Cusack of lap pools. Sensitive, yet tough. Funny but great at drama. So smooth, it's like swimming on glass. Call me Mrs. Weyerhauser from now on. 

  • Richland 
    Pool: Columbia Basin Raquetball Club 
    SGOL Link 
    Rating: B- 
    The Good News: 25 yards, kickboards, paceclock, jacuzzi next to the pool. 
    The Bad News: Warm water, crappy gutters, kids jumping into lap lanes and seven dollars to get in. 
    Details: You're minutes from the Hanford Nuclear Facility, so a good swim may offset any ill effects that come from breathing the Tri-Cities' radioactive gamma air. Don't touch the three footed lifeguard. 

  • Seattle 
    Pool: YMCA 
    SGOL Link 
    Rating: C- 
    Good News: Free if you have a Y card, and hey, you're in Seattle! 
    The Bad News: 20 yards, four lanes and crowded. 
    Details: This tiny pool is underground and likely to bring on claustrophobia. It's also inexplicably popular. So popular that last time I was there, a program was being implemented that meant you had to sign up for a lane in advance. Please! How am I supposed to know what time I'll wake up tomorrow? May I remind you, dear reader, that the Weyerhouser Aquatic Center is just fifteen minutes away... 

  • Spokane 
    Pool: YMCA 
    SGOL Link 
    Rating: B 
    Good News: 25 yards, indoors, lane ropes, pace clocks, nice lifeguards. 
    The Bad News: Four lanes, some little kid action. 
    Details: The Spokane Y is in the middle of a park. Its stairmasters overlook a river, so your dryland training is scenic. The Inland Empire Masters Team works out here; a girl named Vicki Marsh swims for IE Masters and she kicks my ass in every event. She's about 5 years older than me. I am quite depressed. 

  • Yakima 
    Pool: YMCA 
    SGOL Link 
    Rating: B 
    Good News: 25 yards, indoors, ropes etc etc. 
    The Bad News: Four lanes. 
    Details: I am doing this pool from memory, since I expect to never work at Yakima again. (Unless the money skyrockets dramatically). I remember that the ladies' locker room is severely pink and I imagine that the men's room is similiarly blue. I also recall that the Yak Y is several stories high and like Seattle, the pool is underground. Being from San Francisco makes me uncommonly nervous in basement pools. Earthquake!

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