6 lanes 25 meters, indoors,
a pace clock and free with a Y card. Jacuzzi!
no flags, one lane rope and a
snippy lifeguard (see details).
On my good days, I am a moody and bossy
bitch. I was having a bad day when I went to this Y. My first impression of
the night lifeguard was that she was bored and lazy, but I spotted her ten
personality points just in case I was the jerk. However, when you've got seven
lap swimmers in a six lane pool, it's time to haul your ass out of the lifeguard
stand and put in more lane ropes. One isn't going to cut it, sister. My offer
to do all the work for her was spurned outright.
"I don't feel
that's necessary ma'am. If you just swim on top of the black line, you should
"Thanks for the tip, Nancy
Drew. I get the feeling that in five years, this chick is going to be serving
me cold coffee in the coach section of a United Express flight.
No flags mean for a nasty
surprise on your first backstroke turn. Luckily, I can save your face. One
of the heater jets at the deep end puts out a nasty lateral current. As soon
as you feel your body move uncontrollably into the lane rope, flip over on
your stomach. You will execute a perfect turn, I guarantee it. If you hesitate
even a moment though, you'll crunch up and look like an idiot.
of Southern Indiana
25 meters, indoors,
six lanes, kickboards, pace clock, nice lifeguard and lax security
You need to either attend USI or
look like you do and then pretend that you lost your student ID. Also, there
are no flags and the water temperature is YMCA-esque. Ugh. I am beginning to
think that the CA in YMCA stands for Catering to the Arthritic.
If you're a fan of cool and crisp water,
the kind that's perfect for swimming, hit the showers and turn the handle towards
"H". For warm water, the kind that's perfect for a jacuzzi or boiling eggs,
dive in the pool.
And, I have had it with
the 'no flags' situation. Please, we are professionals, are we not? Just when
I was to sink my teeth into 8 x 400 IM's descending 1-4/5-8, I realized I
would not be able to time my backstroke turns properly. I was forced to do
an easy 200 and get out.
- Ft Wayne
25 yards, lane ropes, cool water,
paceclocks, kickboards and buoys.
Well, I left Toronto at 10 am and pulled
over at this Ft Wayne Y at 8 pm. It had been a long, crazy day of lying to
customs officers and running over Canadian geese. Maybe I was in a caffeine
daze, but I liked this little pool. The chlorine was strong and awful, like
I like it, and I emerged from practice with sixteen wrinkles. My apologies
go to the lifeguard, as I noticed I was in need of an armpit shave only after
a chunk of backstroke work.
25 yards, a pace clock and lane
ropes, plus it was free for me because I passed out tickets to the comedy show.
No gutters and slippery walls make
for funky breastroke turns. Four lanes, mental patient (see details).
Well, I was within driving distance of
the Indianapolis Natatorium but thanks to a severe bout of apathy and laziness,
I drove around the corner to Bally's. For local flavor, you can't beat the crazy
backstroker who compulsively cleans the walls for no reason. You know how it
is... you finally break out of a long slow distance mode and get pumped to do
some broken two hundreds when all the sudden the poster child for OCD is in
your lane, scrubbing away at imaginary dirt. I had to swerve to avoid turning
on her head. Hey Hazel, take a breather.
Natatorium at University of Indiana
50 meters, indoors, equipment,
a master's team with a noon workout, paceclocks, bulkhead, lane ropes (one half
of the pool is double roped), cheap visitor parking.
I am at a loss.
OH MY GOD. I have a new boyfriend. Someone
tell the King County Aquatic Center in Federal Way, Wa., that I am smitten with
this fine (and I mean fine) fifty meter pool in Indianapolis. It's like swimming
through silk. The '84, '92 and '96 Olympic Trials were held at this pool, and
the names of all team members are scrawled in blue on the diving end's wall
with a calligrapher's hand. The Master's Team, IndyFit
let me crash the 11:30 workout (the mark of a civilized masters team being a
well attended noon workout) and they even invited me to the Saturday morning
workout. (Morning? Oh, that won't be happening, friends.) The pro shop sells
one dollar caps.
outdoors, fifty meters,
lane ropes, equipment, clocks. There's also a kid's pool thankfully located
indoors and the water is crisp and cold.
A tad shallow.
Well, being a pool in the city with
the UIPUI pool is like being one of the non-Alec Baldwin brothers. No matter
how good looking you are, you don't have a chance. IndyFit works out here
at 7:30 am on Saturdays and the team is huge and friendly. It's nice, but
really...treat yourself to the Olympic Trials pool. It's only five dollars
if they charge you at all.
Jordan YMCA , pool
Indoors, 25 yards, cold water,
deep pool, lane ropes, a clock visible on both ends and kickboards. I had my
own lane the whole time.
Hmmmm, nothing really. Oh wait;
no free massage. But then again, no place offers free massage. Never mind.
People this nice make me nervous. An
older guy gave me great directions over the phone, then gave me a tour of the
facility. The Y is near a military base: buzzcuts are in. Here's the thing with
military guys- they know a thousand ways to kill you with a pencil yet one lap
of fly has them vomiting blood in the gutter. All I'm saying is, Mr President,
I wouldn't launch an invasion of Omaha Beach anytime soon.
6 lanes, free with a Y card,
kickboards, a few lane ropes
Lots of kids, only an hour for
lap swim, warm water.
If I swim in one more YMCA in Indiana,
I am going to hang myself from the locker room shower with my goggle straps.
I can't take it anymore. They are all the same. Exactly. The same up-with-people
messages stenciled with the same typography, using the same pastel colors.
The little swimmers are called polliwogs and the larger ones are barracudas.
Etc etc etc. And the beat goes on. I wish there was a Goth town, like the
first Batman movie's Metropolis, with a black pool, neon lane lines and lava
6 lanes, 25 meters, indoors,
a pace clock, kickboards, cool water and all the lanes are roped during lap
Sometimes the pool is completely
Well, there's not much to report here.
Everyone's nice, and I guess that's good, if you like nice, which I don't.
The jacuzzi is for both sexes, but it's in a common area between locker rooms,
so I thought it was ladies only. I was about to peel off my suit when I guy
walked in. Then I definitely peeled off my suit. Why not? Am I ever coming
back to Valpo? I only hope the answer is no.