I got kicked off the Urban Baby message boards again. Every few weeks, an anonymous monitor decides my posts are offensive and I get a time out. It reminds me of the old days, in AOL chat rooms. The 90’s. I was always getting kicked out of the writer’s chat room by some humorless do-gooders. AOL was 2.95 an hour. I was an opener. I spent all my money on AOL, it was the thing that kept me sane on the road. It was my booze.
Today, in the aughts, booze and Urban Baby are my booze. I need an hour or so of both (simultaneously), just to unwind at the end of the day.
KilBaby is crawling. He loves the TIVO remote, like his parents. I dangle it to catch his eye, and place it 4 or 5 feet away. He stares at it hard, like he’s gonna buy it a drink and bang it in the ladies restroom. Then he raises his little rump and starts rocking on his hands and knees. One arm comes up, then slams on the carpet. Then the other. He moves about 1/2 inch per crawl, and when he gets close, he slides into base, reaching for the remote like a batter coming home.
I don’t have a standup goal, and that’s a problem. For most of my career, I was always looking forward to achieving something that would lead to fame and validation. Not anymore. I did Aspen two years ago, nothing came from it. In fact I lost a huge opportunity because of one set. I did the Master’s showcase at Montreal last year, nothing came from it. The milestones that are supposed to mean something have meant nothing to me. So, what would another tv spot mean? What would a half hour special mean? Nothing, again? What’s the point?
I’m in that kind of mood.