"..I looked closer and recognized a spine and a collar. Dead cat..."
Home Sweet Home, March, 1997
Condos are great because you can cook. That's what comics tell me. I always take advantage of this opportunity to make cereal. Condos are fun because you can bond with your fellow comics. I field many questions. 'Laurie, when are you going back to your room', 'Laurie, you look sleepy' and, 'Laurie, do you mind if we watch Little House on the Prairie again' are frequent visitors to our conversations.
Once I worked with a comic who was excited to share a condo with a girl. He thought that I would be neat, and that I would like to cook. I made him Wheaties. Last year I shared a house with a guy who brought back strippers. Oops, dancers. They used my bathroom. I made a scene. He bought me a new toothbrush.
A club in Oklahoma that has since closed put comics up in a HUD housing unit. Our neighbors were always home, and they knew when we were out. Uninvited grass grew near the doorstep. Everytime I walked outside, I noticed an odor. On Sunday I decided to investigate, as the only comic with a car was making an unsuccessful bid to reunite with his girlfriend and I was left to my own devices all week. I saw a black mushy spot on the grass. I looked closer and recognized a spine and a collar. Dead cat. Kids playing nearby, parents watching the comedy condo and comics hiding their valuables. I called animal control and my agent, not in that order.