"...It could all be nothing at the end of the day, but it ain't nothing yet...."
A Full Quiver, June 20, 2006
Pregnancy has re-affirmed my commitment to abortion rights. My son-to-be thinks he is the boss of me and I've had it. If I lie down on my stomach for even a second, the downstairs tenant pummels my insides with his newly formed fists like he owns the joint. As soon as my son is born, he's grounded.
El Boyfriend was on the road last week, and I was alone in the apartment. I had things to write, jokes to work on, but I was lost and lonely and there was no sound unless I turned on the tv. The other day I was peeing with the bathroom door open, because no one was around to stop me. I realized that in four months, I won't be this alone again for at least twenty years.
Maybe never.
A long time ago, when I was 20, I predicted that nothing good would happen to me until I was 40. I never identified with Madonna, but as soon as Bonnie Raitt became famous, I had a sick feeling in my stomach. "That's going to be you," my gut told me. Late success, very late. Of course, I would be lucky to have any kind of Raitt-like career, but at the time I was depressed. Years and years of obscurity lay before me, I could feel it in my bones. I was bird that needed to be defrosted, dressed and then cooked at a low temperature, forever.
Good things are up in the air. They could all land on the wrong side of the fence, but in this business, even failure gets you closer to success. I've made the final edit on
Best Week Ever for six weeks in a row. (I've surely jinxed myself for this week's episode).
Daily Comedy is going to officially launch in about two weeks, July 5th, and there's lot of money behind it. Nice, wealthy people want it to work. I contribute about ten-fifteen topical jokes a week, so if I submit to a late night show, at least I'll have a huge backlog of samples to pick from. It's also fun to write non-personal jokes, stuff I'd never do onstage.
I turned in a fairly dark tape to Comedy Central for the Half Hour Presents. I don't expect them to say yes, unless its with multiple caveats. ("You can't do this, this, this and this. Oh, and that.") I'll do what I'm told. I have more than my own ego to answer to now.
I have a two pilot ideas out. A cable network has one and they have not passed on it yet. A pilot that I wrote in '04 will be getting read, as soon as I finish a few tweaks. It could all be nothing at the end of the day, but it ain't nothing yet. I'm just out here in the archery range, pulling arrows from my quiver and hoping one pierces the bullseye.
