"..As long as I don't lose this tape, I told God while stuffing the tiny cartridge in my bra, I can get robbed and raped.."
I'm All Ears, Aug 6, 2002
I gasped a little. The plane seemed to slow down, almost to a glide, as we meandered up the West Side of Manhattan towards LaGuardia on Sunday night. From my window seat, I first saw the tiny lights of Battery Park. The buildings were so small and toy-like; Manhattan looked like a city of ambitious dollhouses. So pretty, wait, is that Manhattan, I don't see...- oh, there is it. The enormous remains of Sept 11. Flat, florescent lights from Ground Zero washed out the dark twinkles of Lower Manhattan. It's hard to imagine that a plane just like mine was deliberately crashed into this sparkling city beneath me.
We cruised up Broadway, and I spotted my building. From the base of Central Park, I counted the cross streets until we passed mine, and I counted out, Central Park West, Columbus, Amsterdam, Broadway, West End, Riverside Drive. People in the building were awake, tvs were on. I tried to guess which blue hue was entertaining Gennady and Pinky, but soon we were over the Bronx with the landing gear out.
Toosohn, Arizona. The digital camera, which I bought on Ebay for almost half what it sells for at the Wiz, worked. I flipped it on all week and got a rockin', all-material 50 minute tape from the 2nd show Saturday. As long as I don't lose this tape, I told God while stuffing the tiny cartridge in my bra, I can get robbed and raped on the way back to the condo.
I returned safely.
Do the bookers who request a fifty minute tape watch it? Who has fifty minutes to spend on a new act when you can just re-book the old ones without turning on the VCR? I think they watch, fast forward, play, fast forward, play etc, just to make there's laughs from beginning to end.
The decision I forced myself to make after I sent out a batch of panicked, unanswered emails is to remain calm
and enjoy the autumn in New York City. I have been on the road all spring, and most of the summer. My road schedule from October on is light to say the least. But, in a Stuart Little voice, that's OKAY. If I just work one club date between October and December, I will be fine. I can hunker down like a nut-filled squirrel and work my short spots in the city. It's not like being home means I'm milking dairy cows in Iowa. I'm in New York City, and some of my favorite comics actually never leave it. (Of course, I still haven't figured out how they make a living
on ten to fifty dollar spots but that too will be revealed to me in good time.)
My agent has her summer industry showcase on Thursday at the Strip- she hires a videographer, and it's always a great tape. I'm doing my Tonight Show set to send to Bob and Ross. I'll be watching the Tonight Show's New Faces every night this week. It hurts a little, because it was mine to lose, Reader, and I lost it. But the great thing about show business is that it's always temporary, and things change overnight, and over time.
For this Comedy Central show I'm taping at Fort Maguire, I'm trying to construct a set that will appeal to 19-25 year old soldiers, without repeating any material I've done on Comedy Central. FYI, 19-25 year old soldiers are not my target audience. I'm stringing unrelated jokes together like pieces of popcorn on a Christmas tree lace. If anyone can figure out how to jump from a "My Size 11 Feet Are hard to Show" joke to a "My computer is a Tandy" joke, why I'm all ears.