"...one of my celebrity baby buddies is bald, and the other is dead..."
If Britney Can Do It..., Feb 26th, 2007
Oh, it's taking awhile to acclimate to a 40 hour work week. Leaving the house at 9, getting back at 7, 7:30. Sometimes KilBaby is asleep for the night when I come home from work, and I won't see him until the 3 AM feeding, and then I hope he falls asleep quick after he finishes. Do a spot or run, or more work. Every hour of every day is stuffed.
I'm sort of stunned.
I know everything, by the way. Pop culture, current events- I've never been this well-informed in my life. My head hurts. I have too many electronic devices, and they all have accessories. Something is always lost- my headphones (iPod), my headset (cellphone), the USB cord (camera). And adapters. Adapters, adapters everywhere. I read, I download, I watch tv, I listen to music, I talk on the phone. Always, there is input, but with little time to process any of it.
Getting a Blackberry would break this camel's back.
The equity in my apartment tempts me. We'll just sell it and move to Montana, I tell myself on days I just can't take it anymore. We'll homeschool, live like kings in a souped up trailer.
Some people get inspired by the Jackie Robinsons or Marie Curies of the world. Not me. I reach for the stars after people who are worse/dumber/poorer than me accomplish something out of their league. Their unearned self-confidence shames me into action.
Last year, I'd cheer myself up with the efforts of low-hanging pregnant celebrities.
If Britney Spears can do this, I'd think,
so can I.
if Anna fucking Nicole Smith can have two kids, I can have one. Well, one of my celebrity baby buddies is bald, and the other is dead.
It's not as easy as it looks.
My baby giggled last week. My mom caused it, I heard it and neither of us know why it happened. He did it again, then his Dad took him to Texas for a week of grandmothering. I've been alone for six days and it hasn't been relaxing. I slept less because the apartment was empty and creepy. It's weird to see baby socks in a house where there's no baby- very Nicole Kidman-y in The Others.
