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My name is 
. I'm a comedian and writer. I've
performed at the Montreal, Aspen and Edinburgh comedy festivals, and
I've done standup on Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel and Showtime, and appeared on Best Week Ever, the Today Show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, The Rachel Maddow
Show and Fox & Friends and Oprah. I was a staff writer for the Late Late
Show, Tough Crowd and the Bonnie Hunt Show. I co-wrote Sherri Shepherd's memoir, and I was a finalist in Season 8 of NBC's Last Comic Standing. Finally, I just used the word "I" seven times in five sentences. Gross.
. I'm a comedian and writer. I've
performed at the Montreal, Aspen and Edinburgh comedy festivals, and
I've done standup on Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel and Showtime, and appeared on Best Week Ever, the Today Show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, The Rachel Maddow
Show and Fox & Friends and Oprah. I was a staff writer for the Late Late
Show, Tough Crowd and the Bonnie Hunt Show. I co-wrote Sherri Shepherd's memoir, and I was a finalist in Season 8 of NBC's Last Comic Standing. Finally, I just used the word "I" seven times in five sentences. Gross. "Kilmartin had some good and sick baby material. We're used to the male perspective... but it's even sicker when the nurturing mother does it. Sick in a good way. Funny stuff." - What's So Funny
Punchline Magazine calls Five Minutes to Myself one of the Top Ten Comedy CDs of 2009.
Buy it at Rooftop , Amazon or iTunes.
Shout out to an iTunes Dick: PFC Anderson, whose one-star review of my CD starts like this: Women comedians are never funny. Why the f I bought it I have no idea. Oh, I have an idea, PFC Anderson. You are a moron. You clearly state that you don't think "women comedians" are funny. Then your scabby-meth fingers find ten dollars in your mom's wallet and what do you buy? A CD recorded by a "woman comedian." You are retarded. I could see how, if my name was Chris or Pat, you could have thought I was a man when you clicked "download," but Laurie is not a unisex name. In fact, Laurie is always a woman's name, with one exception: Jo's boyfriend in Little Women, a book I suspect you have not read. Do you hear me, private? And even if you are unclear on standard lady names because so few of them consent to date you, my "woman comedian" picture is on the CD cover. iTunes clearly displays the artwork. Carry on, you dumbass.
"Laurie Kilmartin has the superpower that separates comedians from civilians: the mystic vision necessary to see the humor in the mundane and the insane."Punchline Magazine
Shout out to an iTunes Dick: PFC Anderson, whose one-star review of my CD starts like this: Women comedians are never funny. Why the f I bought it I have no idea. Oh, I have an idea, PFC Anderson. You are a moron. You clearly state that you don't think "women comedians" are funny. Then your scabby-meth fingers find ten dollars in your mom's wallet and what do you buy? A CD recorded by a "woman comedian." You are retarded. I could see how, if my name was Chris or Pat, you could have thought I was a man when you clicked "download," but Laurie is not a unisex name. In fact, Laurie is always a woman's name, with one exception: Jo's boyfriend in Little Women, a book I suspect you have not read. Do you hear me, private? And even if you are unclear on standard lady names because so few of them consent to date you, my "woman comedian" picture is on the CD cover. iTunes clearly displays the artwork. Carry on, you dumbass.
Buy "Permission Slips", the book I wrote with View co-host Sherri Shepherd.
Are you a comic who wants to have baby? Perhaps this piece I wrote for Babble will make you reconsider.
Jiimmy Pardo and Matt Belknap stuck me on their great podcast, Never Not Funny!
Marc Maron invited me to appear on his very popular podcast, WTF. With Jackie Kashian. Download it on iTunes (episode 50).
Podcast from Queens: Jon Fisch and Dan Allen invited me In the Tank. Podcast from Aspen: Robert Hawkins and I talk farts and slavery on Siskel and Negro
September
1 Hollywood Improv, 8 PM, Comedy Store 10PM+
2 Comedy and Magic Club, Heromca Beach, Ca
9-12 Comedy Catch, Chattanooga, TN
19 The Hideout, Santa Monica
19 Comedy Caliente@ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club
20 Tiger Lily, Los Feliz
22 Flannerys Comedy CLub, Burbank, Ca
23 Skinnys Lounge, Hollywood Ca
29-Oct 2 Punchline, San Francisco
(Crowd work/topical material on my YouTube channel.)
Detoxing from Last Comic Standing, in Austin. NSFW! Every dirty word I can think of (way more than seven) plus a surprise ending!
From the Season 8 debut of Last Comic Standing:
I googled my name and found this thread about my first LCS appearance, titled, "Disgusting." I joined in (screen name anylaurie), and the lady who started it agreed to see my show the next time I'm in North Carolina. See? We really can all get along!
First show of 2010... someone throws a roll at my head. Ah, comedy.
This "interview" with John Edwards' mistress, Rielle Hunter, is from 2008. But that dizzy slut is back in the news, so let's re-visit!
In conjunction with Comedy Central, I created a web series for Atom.com called American English with Jimmy T.
American English With Jimmy T: Cracker
Enjoy the Kilmartin family Christmas video!
John McCain, Meet William: : Parody of a MoveOn.org ad, 2008
Help some nice, poor people: Kiva microloans help people help themselves out of poverty. I helped a mom in Bosnia buy a cow!
2 Comedy and Magic Club, Heromca Beach, Ca
9-12 Comedy Catch, Chattanooga, TN
19 The Hideout, Santa Monica
19 Comedy Caliente@ Jon Lovitz Comedy Club
20 Tiger Lily, Los Feliz
22 Flannerys Comedy CLub, Burbank, Ca
23 Skinnys Lounge, Hollywood Ca
29-Oct 2 Punchline, San Francisco
(Crowd work/topical material on my YouTube channel.)
Detoxing from Last Comic Standing, in Austin. NSFW! Every dirty word I can think of (way more than seven) plus a surprise ending!
From the Season 8 debut of Last Comic Standing:
I googled my name and found this thread about my first LCS appearance, titled, "Disgusting." I joined in (screen name anylaurie), and the lady who started it agreed to see my show the next time I'm in North Carolina. See? We really can all get along!
First show of 2010... someone throws a roll at my head. Ah, comedy.
This "interview" with John Edwards' mistress, Rielle Hunter, is from 2008. But that dizzy slut is back in the news, so let's re-visit!
In conjunction with Comedy Central, I created a web series for Atom.com called American English with Jimmy T.
Enjoy the Kilmartin family Christmas video!
John McCain, Meet William: : Parody of a MoveOn.org ad, 2008
- visit TV appearances for more
Help some nice, poor people: Kiva microloans help people help themselves out of poverty. I helped a mom in Bosnia buy a cow!
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